The Subtle Art of Wrap Gifts

At the end of the show, it is often customary to give wrap gifts to the people you have worked with. This isn’t mandatory and a lot of people don't do it, but I’ve always found it’s a nice way to thank the people who made your job easier.

Wrap gift giving can be tricky though because, much like making that wedding invitation list, you find yourself thinking “but if I give her something, I can’t leave him out, and if I give him something I can’t…” and on and on and on. On ER, my first big show, I had a custom t shirt designed as a wrap gift and pretty soon realized if I didn't give one to every single crew member, from the PAs all the way up to the executive producers, I was going to hurt someone. As a goofy 26-year-old, I didn’t want to do that, so I ended up ordering, hand tying and delivering 150 shirts. It was actually a highlight for me, and I ended up doing the same thing every year I was there.

Back to who and what. As a result of not wanting to pull an ER again, I find there are several factors that go into my decision making now. I look at who I work closely with and who I simply have fun with, even if they are in a different part of the crew. Then, and this is key, I put wrap gifts together a week or two before the show ends and, one by one, I quietly put them in backpacks, cubbies, etc., and let them know there is something waiting there for them when they get home. Keep it quiet, and you are much less likely to create animosity or feel bad. Make a big production about it, and you are, more than likely, to end up with a bad taste in your mouth.

One of the things I do pretty early on in a show is try to make mental notes of what interests different people I’d like to thank. As we move through production, I get a pretty good idea of what that person is interested in and I try to find something that fits with what they would like. More importantly, I try and write a note (usually on the back of a page of sides) expressing my thanks and reminding them of some wacky adventure we had on the show. Personalizing it is always great and it shows that you actually put some thought into the whole thing. And by the way, if the time and feeling are right, you don't even have to wait for the show to end. On a TV show I just finished, it was so cold in LA in December that I picked up electric heated vests for the camera crew and a few others (asking them to keep it quiet) as early wrap gifts. Trust me when I tell you that nothing could have made them happier or shown them how thankful I was to have them around, and I doubt any of them were bummed to get a gift earlier than the end of the show.

If you personalize it, it can also make it easier on the old wallet. My dolly grip, who I have known for a long time and love because he is a great human AND a great dolly grip, would be happier with a bag of some odd new type of pretzels I have found than just about anything else. It's becoming harder and harder to find new varieties though so either I’m going to have to figure something out or our run is done.

One area that is a little gray is how long you are on a show before you feel you should do something for the people around you. Day playing, probably not. A week. Most likely not.  A month? Probably. If you really want to play the head game, consider a show that has been going on for a year and you come in to cover the operator for the last three weeks of the show. HA.

As far as receiving, realize that no one owes you a wrap gift and that no matter what it is, be thankful and be gracious. I've been on shows where the crew received little or nothing from production and was angry about it. Sure, you don't need a “Texas is the Best” ash tray, but someone decided you did, so smile and thank them, knowing you are going to use it as a food bowl for your pet bearded dragon Ruby. 

Personally, I think working a crew on a show for months and not offering a little thanks shows a lack of thought, but it's also important to remember that this is a job; we are compensated for our efforts and everything else is gravy and not a guarantee. Receiving a wrap gift from a crew member or production doesn’t mean you did a great job and not receiving one doesn’t mean you suck. I often find people get caught up in the scorekeeping of “they got X and we got Y” and it never ends well. So, be thankful for the job, do your best, treat people the way you want to be treated, and enjoy the Christmas day-like feeling that last week of a show gives you.

Some examples of wrap gifts that I have received:

A Maryland Film Commission t-shirt in the wrong size (Wedding Crashers… If you want to make your crew feel like you don't care about them, this is a great way to do it… HAH)

A white Hanes t-shirt with handwritten art done in Sharpie from 19 YO Jake Gyllenhaal on Donnie Darko (to this day, one of the best things I have ever been given, as on the last day, he whispered in my ear that he put something in my backpack and I shouldn't tell anyone else because he didn’t want to upset people and only gave this to a select few)

A Yo-Yo with a How to Do Tricks book from a 13-year-old Kristen Stewart on one of her earlier movies (another of my favorites but I couldn’t learn any of the tricks)

An ER key chain that I still use to this day from one of the kids in the office (thinking back, we may be the same age)

A pocket knife from the DP on The Harder They Fall made by a French company that has been making them since the 1800s.

T shirts, jackets, pants, shoes, travel coffee mugs, water bottles, bags, bags, and more bags. Some I keep and use all the time, others I have given to charities to auction off for funding.

And on and on and on.

Final note. At a certain point you have everything you want, and while you are thankful, the STUFF gets to be too much. If you know the person you want to give something too is in that category (they’ve been doing this successfully for 30 years) consider a donation in their names. One of my favorite things to do is give them a Kiva card, a donation to a micro-lending outfit where they go online and determine who they can help. The loans are generally paid back in a year and then they get to help someone else out, and on and on. As a result, it’s not only a thoughtful gift that lets them help someone else out, but every year or so they are reminded of you and, hey, they just booked a gig, I wonder if Dave is available….