How do you go about establishing a romantic relationship, or successfully have a family and raise kids with someone, when you are working the hours we work?
1st of all, it takes a special person. Always call home at lunch. Don’t go on location without them if possible. Take time off when you can, like don’t take every job if you don’t have to. Save your money and spend it on time together. I always always always let my crew off for whatever family event they need. Just ask.
For starters, choose wisely. It takes a special type of person to understand this weird carnie lifestyle we lead. There will be time that you will be unavailable and when home, dead tired. Make up for it in spades when you are not working and dont take that lightly. It’s a debt you owe them for keeping the home fires burning. With kids it’s tougher. FaceTime, message, leave notes, get home in time to read to them and realize that even though you are dead tired, they need the interaction you will give them. Yes, you worked till 3 am on Friday but they didn’t choose that you did and they need mom or dad, so guess what, you’re gonna have to brew some strong coffee and head to that soccer game because trust me, you won’t remember that three days of day playing on some cancelled show but you’ll never forget the first time your kids team celebrates their first goal.
As for spouses who stay home with the kids, check in often and ask what you can do. Call on your way home and ask if they need anything. And when you get home, yes, you have both had a really tough day and are both tired and you’ve both earned a rest. But know this. You’ve been around people working together towards a common goal and occasionally getting he satisfaction of doing something cool. They have none of that and they need you to recognize what they do because unlike a set, there’s no one at home but you to do that. So thank them, help them, let them go to bed while you do the dishes. Make sure they know that you can’t be doing what you do unless they are there doing what they do.
Be smart. Locations are relationship killers. Don’t kid yourself.
